Ask Michael for Better Decisions Advice & Techniques

Michael provides advice on this page once per week to people who are facing tough decisions in their lives. While the advice is not intended to steer the person seeking advice to one alternative or another, it is specifically designed to assist with using various decision-making techniques to enable the individual to come to a decision based upon their own priorities and needs. The new advice is normally posted every Monday afternoon.

If you are facing a decision that you need assistance with, please email Michael your question at askmichael@decidebetter.com.

Below you will find the advice given by Michael this week. For an archive of advice given in previous weeks, click here.

March 31, 2008

Dear Michael,

I'm a woman that just can't make up my mind! Help me please! I seem to get into relationships, but when the time comes that he wants to get serious, I seem to back up from him. I want to get serious with someone, but then I feel that I'm not too sure about him. I just think that he'll be mean or hard to live with, or maybe I just want to be alone and avoid commitment. Right now, I think I’m about to lose the one I’m with now, because I can't make up my mind what I want in life. Why do you think that I am that way and what can I do about it? I was married twice previously. The first guy was very abusive to me and the second one was mean, very loud and on drugs. I couldn't handle either of them. How can I make these commitment decisions?

Thanks, Indecisive

Dear Indecisive,

It's natural for someone who has been through two "marriage mistakes" to struggle making a commitment to a third. Maybe you should decide if you ever want to get married again, and if you do, what is the type of man you want to marry. The good thing about your two previous marriages is that you have some good experience. What did you learn from those decisions, so you won't make the same mistake again? In a way, you have an advantage over someone who never made these mistakes, so us it to know what you want in a marriage - and what you don't want. You know that you don't want a man who is mean or hard to live with (not that any man is easy to live with). You should be able to see that in a man before marrying him. Apply this criteria to the person you are dating, or to anyone else in the future. This will help you to make a great decision the next time.

Don't be afraid to make the decision - just think enough about it to make a good decision.

You take full responsibility for your own decisions. Our advice is intended to help you with your decision-making process, not the decisions themselves. We hope you will make better decisions and have a better life as a result, but if you follow this advice, you agree not to hold us liable for the results of your decisions. Sometimes even good decisions don't work out. Make the best decisions you can make, accept responsibility for your decisions, and control your life. By making better decisions you will shape a better life.

Good luck.

Michael